Who is your inner child
When we are born, we are born this perfect little human being, We are loving, curious, full of wonder, excitement, play, a sponge for learning. In this state we are amazing for how much we do learn, absorb. Between the ages of 2-6, it is said that our brain waves are on the same wavelength of when we are in hypnosis, which is why it can bevery effective.
Now as children, there are adults, older children who take advantage of this little child and abuse, manipulate, humiliate, berate this child and this causes the child to go inwards, to hide, not to express themselves. It causes feelings of anger, shame, guilt and not knowing how to articulate that, it can cause depression, anxiety, acting out, anger issues.
When we are in a loving supportive environment, we learn to navigate life’s challenges with skills and tools to do that in an appropriate and constructive way for us. It helps us to build confidence, trust and love and positive relationships, good communication skills.
When in an negative environment if we don’t have the tools, we turn to something to fulfill our basic needs, which are to be loved, paid attention, listened to.
It’s here that many habits are formed with food. Your parents might have had strict guidelines on food, or you turned to food as a way to comfort yourself.
Now you carry that through to adulthood only it’s been so many years, you forget what happened as a child or it can be so painful we bury it deep within our unconscious.
Why visit our inner child to lose weight?
It’s never too late to give yourself the parenting that you wanted and deserved. Even though you have carried this child into adulthood, and you are no longer a child, you still have the patterns, thoughts and behaviours of the child.
When painful feelings from the past reside inside you, you don’t just experience daily life stress, frustration and disappointment in present time. They trigger deeper feelings so your reaction is often out of proportion to the issue at hand. That over-reaction is the energy of your Inner Child.
When you compulsively overeat you silence the voice of that child and stop hearing what she needs from you. Think of your urge to overeat as a scared, sad, or anxious child crying herself to sleep. She’s not hungry for food. She’s hungry for your love and attention.
Example of utilising your inner child to lose weight
I had a client, let’s call her Sarah who had horrible parenting. Father was an alcoholic and mother was a narcissist. She was verbally and physically abused by them. Growing up she was bullied at school, so she turned to food for comfort, then her parents would berate her for eating too much.
Now she notices when someone says something she construes as horrible, she gets upset and she turns to food, then berates herself for eating too much., She is continuing that pattern that she had with her parents.
Now, today, it’s not the other people making her feel that way.
No one makes you feel anything that isn’t already inside you to begin with. When you stop blaming others for what you feel–and take responsibility for your reactions and acknowledge your Inner Child’s pain–that’s when you become free.
By going back and healing the inner child, she is re parenting that child. Now that doesn’t mean that she has to re live horrible experiences, just help that child with their feelings.
Give it a go.
When you have a moment, take the time to sit in a quiet place, take a good few deep breaths and really let yourself relax.
Now ask for your inner child, so for instance, I might say little Vanessa I’m here to help, would you like to talk? Are you there.
You are meeting this child for the first time, so talk to them like you would a child, Hello, how are you ? tell them you are here to listen, support and give them anything they need.
Now you can ask them – What do you need from me? How can I show you more love? If the child is ready, you could ask them what feelings they had when they were younger. Just listen for what comes to you. Really re assure this child. Give this child lots of love and compassion.
Tell them you are always here for them.
When you’re ready come back. You can now visit your inner child as often as need be and each time deepen the conversation, and continue the love and support.
By working a lot deeper on the inner child, Sarah was able to re parent her old patterns so she was able to stop turning to food in times of upset and was able to deal with people in an adult, assertive matter so that it no longer bothered her as much as it used to.
When we address the pain within us, it sets us free and that is very liberating.
Ready to get off the weightloss merry-go-round once and for all? Let me help you be diet free forever. Book a free call to give you the opportunity to ask questions and see if we are a good fit to work together on banishing your weightloss challenges together.